


Mental Breakdowns feat. Shirtless Lance

by TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alcohol, BAMF Lance (Voltron), But fuck me, Competitive Swimmer Lance, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, I mean it's not a tag, It's true in my headcanon, Lance knows what he's doing, M/M, Pidge does the anime glasses thing, Pidge is a little shit, Pidgey is a lightweight, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Poor suffering Shiro, Scars, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Shiro is an idiot, Shirtless, Sober Shiro, The boy has a brain, There is a severe lack of shirts, This is not accidental, lance is a badass, nothing but fluff, please, so is keith, they get drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 13:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12212361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan/pseuds/TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan
Summary: Apparently some god somewhere has it out for Shiro. Honestly, he doesn't know what he did to deserve this, but someone decided that it was his punishment (or maybe blessing, depending on the time of day) to suffer through this immense torture.(It might sound blasé, but sometimes he wished that nose scar had managed to slice its way through his eyes. Then, at least, he wouldn't have to see it.)And if something good comes out of it? Well, maybe that god might be more on Shiro's side than he originally thought.





	1. The Swimming Pool Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Just thought I'd introduce myself and also say that this is my first time on AO3. 
> 
> I plan on uploading more stuff, but don't wait for regular updates because lower sixth is a bitch and I'm already drowning in homework. Don't shoot me.
> 
> Also, I won't be placing limits on the comments or deleting comments, but if you do have something nasty to say, kindly keep it to yourself. Constructive criticism is most welcome, but ain't nobody got time for that.
> 
> Thanks for your cooperation. (Hope you can sense the sarcasm)
> 
> Hope you actually read this, if not you're an arse (I can say that because you won't know haha), and enjoy the fic!  
> ~Marshy (TheStayPuftMarshmallowMan)

Shiro didn’t quite know where the ‘family supper’ thing came from, but he had a vague suspicion it was concocted by both Allura and Lance. Which was why he was irritated about the latter being late for the one thing he’d insisted on the most.

Hypocrite. That meant Shiro now had to go find him.

“Allura, can you scan the castle for Lance?”

She nodded and pressed some buttons on the holographic screen before them. Shiro couldn’t understand them, since they were in Altean, but not a moment later a blue dot appeared on the floor plan of the castle up on another screen.

“It appears he’s down in the pool,” she said, watching the blue dot move up and down a large room.

Shiro sighed and nodded. It would take at least five minutes to get there, ten to get Lance to cooperate and five to get back. A twenty minute trip for supper, and all Shiro wanted was to try Hunk’s latest masterpiece.

Great.

His irritation had nothing to do with the fact that this meant he’d have to see Lance shirtless. Nope. Definitely not.

Gathering whatever reserves of courage he had, he left for the pool.

As he drew closer to the room, he heard loud music, along with the fast, rhythmic splashes of water. Shiro pushed the door open, and the world seemed to slow down. It was rather like that anime he’d once watched about the swim team.

Lance was amazing. He cut through the water so elegantly, it was more like the water was simply carrying him along. And the speed! One minute he was at one end of the pool, the next he was fifty metres at the other side.

The music seemed to fit the atmosphere as well. It was fast paced and Lance swam with the beat. Shiro recognised it from somewhere, but he couldn’t quite place it...maybe Beyoncé or Rihanna.

He swallowed and hoped that his face wasn’t too red.

“Lance!” he called. The boy in question looked up and saw Shiro. He pushed a sleek pair of goggles off his face and stood up.

“Pause!” he shouted over the pounding music. The room went quiet except for the sloshing of water and Lance’s slightly heavy breaths. Shiro tried not to follow a drop of water as it dropped from Lance’s hair, down his sharp jawline and neck towards...enough of that!

Shiro cleared his throat and forced his eyes back to Lance’s eyes. He looked amused. Fuck.

“It’s supper.”

“Ah, right. Wait up, will you?”

Without waiting for an answer, Lance pulled himself out of the water. Again, Shiro suffered through a flashback to that anime. To the unsuspecting eye, Lance looked very thin and gangly. But shirtless? Wow.

The boy was built. There wasn’t a spare ounce of fat on him, evident by his toned everything. Shiro tore his eyes from the flexing biceps, abs and thighs before him, trying to keep himself sane. He knew this was a bad idea.

Lance ruffled a hand through his wet hair, sending drops flying everywhere. As he straightened up, it hit Shiro how tall Lance was.

At the start of this... _ adventure _ ...Shiro had easily had a few inches on Lance. Not anymore. They were precisely the same height, and Lance clearly had not stopped growing. The guy was going to be a giant. Forget ‘going to be’. He already was tall.

Shiro knew that it was a sore point with Keith. 

But still. There was the minor problem that his crush of six months was standing before him wearing nothing but skin-tight swim trunks that only emphasized the muscles in his thighs. Needless to say, both Shiro and Shiro’s pants were becoming very uncomfortable.

Lance pulled on a loose tank top with dropped armholes and swapped his trunks impossible discreetly with a pair of jeans. Which didn’t quite solve the problem of  _ exposed skin _ . Then again, if Lance wore baggy clothes, they just seemed to naturally fall off of one shoulder, which exposed sinful collarbones, or hang low on his hips, which was worse.

Shiro was fighting a losing battle. 

He coughed and Lance draped a towel over his head to catch any stray drops before grabbing his phone and heading out of the room on Shiro’s heels.

“You’re really good at swimming,” Shiro said, hoping his voice wasn’t too hoarse. Honestly, Lance shouldn’t be allowed to be that hot. It should be illegal. As should that laugh.

It was ridiculous. Deep and rich, which was not what came to mind when thinking about Lance. Then again, he had many different laughs. His hyena laugh had the ability to make everyone else in the vicinity laugh as well. 

Pushing all thoughts of Lance, be it shirtless, laughing or both, from his mind, Shiro marched from the pool, painfully aware of Lance hot on his heels and sniggering from behind that damn towel.


	2. The Shower Incident

Shiro mopped his sweaty face with a dirty t-shirt before flipping it around his neck and shouldering his way out of the training room door. You’d think with all this Altean technology they’d have invented automatic doors but apparently not.

The shower block was all the way at the other end of the hall, past the shooting range and what was apparently a room with simulations ‘well above your skill level’, according to Allura. To say that Shiro had been offended was an understatement, but he didn’t really like disagreeing with the Princess.

With all due respect, she had obviously been raised to believe she was right. Then again, she  _ did _ know more about the technology and crazy alien shit that goes down in this castle than they did.

This made the fact that he was hearing gunfire from said room more shocking. He peered inside and to his immense surprise, Lance was crouched behind a holographic boulder, rifle and pistols in hand, facing down a large squadron of drones and sentries along with a couple of snipers up in the rafters.

He looked beautiful and deadly and the accuracy with which he shot down those enemies was unnerving. How had Shiro neglected this talent? Keith was unparalleled when it came to sword-fighting and came a close second to himself in hand-to-hand combat. Pidge was bizarrely strong for her size, preferring to use her agility and speed (plus her bayard) to literally dazzle the combatants into confusion and then use slow but powerful punches to knock them out. Hunk was a powerhouse - the combination of his intimidating size and the enormous machine gun (custom-modified) easily wiping out swathes of Galra.

Lance had always named himself the sharpshooter, usually met with laughs and jokes from the others, but maybe he was right. There was no way he could have become so good at shooting without hours of training. If Hunk was useful for large scale attacks, Lance would be infinitely better in stealth combat. When flying, he would be incredible if he stayed further out of the gunfire and picked off specific targets from out of range.

The number of new tactics Shiro had just come up with would put the originals to shame.

It was at that moment that he was shocked out of his stupor by Lance shouting ‘end sim’ to the room. He scurried away into the shower block and stuck his head under the spray before walking out and acting as though he’d just finished.

He stopped dead in his tracks before he could say anything.

Lance had already stripped off his armour and the top part of the bodysuit was unzipped, tied loosely around his slim waist. Sweat collected on his forehead, sticking the locks of hair down and his face was flushed. It ran down his neck and his chest was moving rapidly up and down from the intensive exercise.

“Shiro? Y’alright?”

Shiro shook his head as though removing water from his ears and focussed his gaze back on Lance’s face which looked mildly concerned.

“You were spacing out on me there, buddy,” Lance said, before his blue eyes lit up and he guffawed. “ _ Spacing _ out? Get it?”

Shiro sighed good-naturedly, but internally he was praying that Lance would hurry up and shower soon because he didn’t think he could take much more of this torture.

Being faced by Lance’s broad chest and shoulders and lithe, muscled stomach was a challenge Shiro didn’t think he’d have to face again after the Swimming Pool Incident. That humiliation was rather too fresh in his mind and he’d had many full-body-cringes in remembrance of it.

Then again it wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate Lance shirtless, because he did. Oh yes he did. Who wouldn’t enjoy the sight of endless tan skin stretched over taut muscles, lightly covered in sweat? Okay, that did sound a bit weird. But, Shiro was in space so there were no social standards to live up to and he was allowed to be a creep dammit!

A blotchy flush itched his cheeks at the thought and he cleared his throat before Lance called him out as a stalker.

“Yeah, I’m good thanks,” Shiro said nonchalantly. “Good work today.”

“Aye Cap’n,” Lance joked, walking backwards into the showers and shooting him his signature wink and finger-guns. 

That boy is going to be the death of me, Shiro thought to himself.


	3. The Emergency Alarm Incident

It was...about three in the morning, based on their rudimentary Castle time equivalent thing. Shiro didn’t know how it worked, only that it was based on GM time, so in America it would be seven and that’s only if you’re talking about Arizona. In reality it could range from anything between four pm and ten pm.

Still, Shiro didn’t care what time it was in the US, only that it was three am here and that was too early.

“Where is Lance?” Allura demanded, looking around at them all. “This is outrageous, you should all be here by now!”

The sound of running feet echoed through the hallway outside and Lance burst in, sliding to a halt in socked feet about a foot from a rather fragile looking computer.

“Sorry I’m late!” he gasped. “I was at the other end of the Castle, I got here as fast as I could!”

“Why were you so far away?” Allura asked.

“I was in the observation deck,” Lance explained, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Allura’s expression softened and she turned back to the controls saying something about ‘as long as you make it your priority’.

Shiro, however, had found himself in yet another scenario involving Lance and with a subsequent lack of clothing.

Yes, that’s right. Lance, in his rush, had apparently forgone his shirt. Once again, Shiro had to deal with his own uncontrollable mind, try not to make a fool of himself and also have a meaningful conversation with the person in question, who had just said something to him.

“Uh, sorry,” Shiro laughed awkwardly. “I missed all of that.”

Lance chuckled and waved his hand in the air, presumably to say ‘no problem’.

“Hey, don’t worry man, happens to all of us.”  _ Does it Lance? Do you get distracted by your abs every time you look in a mirror? _ “I was just asking if this was a practice or if there’s actually an emergency.”

Shiro tried to ignore the flexing of muscles in Lance’s biceps when he moved his arms around as he talked. Usually they were covered up, but now? Shiro wasn’t so lucky.

“I don’t know,” he managed to get out, fixing a resolute gaze on the doorway just over Lance’s shoulder.

“Great,” yawned Lance, stretching his arms over his head. “So I ran here for nothing. Yay.”

Dammit Lance, save your flexing for later! Shiro’s plan of looking at the door frame was not working. He had forgotten about Lance’s shoulders. They weren’t what you immediately looked at with Lance - if you ever had the pleasure of seeing him shirtless, usually you were hypnotised by the abs long before you even had the option of giving him a once-over. But seeing as this was becoming a regular thing, Shiro had the ability to see and appreciate other parts of his body. Including, but not limited to, neck, shoulders, biceps, jawline, forearms, back.

Jesus Christ, this was not good. Shiro internally groaned at himself and rolled his neck, revelling in the series of clicks.

Maybe he was just more tired than usual. Yes, that would be it. Sure, he’d been distracted by Lance shirtless before, but it was probably just out of shock. 

Oh, who was he kidding? Not himself, that was for sure. Then again, no one else had to suffer through the  _ painfully graphic _ dreams he’d been having, starring one Lance McClain in all his half-naked glory. It was one thing to suffer in reality and another entirely for that to follow into your head.

Honestly, he should get a restraining order or something, because this was getting ridiculous. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, Shiro?” Lance enquired, looking at him in concern. 

“Yeah, just tired,” Shiro replied, offering a strained smile. Judging by Lance’s frown marring the smooth skin of his forehead, it wasn’t believable. 

“Maybe you should try talking to Black? The lions are actually pretty good with the whole advice thing...y’know, once they stop teasing you about it.” Lance’s ears went red at that, and the concerned frown melted into an annoyed scowl. Under his breath, Shiro heard him mutter ‘shut  _ up _ Blue!’, which made him chuckle in amusement.

This might not be too much of a hardship after all.


	4. The Strip Poker Incident

In hindsight, maybe opening Coran’s 10,000 year old bottle of...whatever it was, was a bad idea. 

Pidge, being as unexposed to alcohol as she was, got smashed on about half a glass. Keith also had ‘very little time’ for alcohol, or, as Lance put it, didn’t have any friends to get drunk with, and was next to go. It was actually kind of adorable - he got very red cheeks and blushed at anything. Hunk apparently had a very low tolerance even though he had regularly drunk at parties before. He was an emotional drunk. Shiro was trying to avoid him. Surprisingly, or maybe unsurprisingly, Lance was actually a heavyweight.

It took a  _ lot _ of alcohol to get him drunk, which he complained about while downing yet another full glass of  _ adastza _ . Or something like that.

And once he was drunk? He was a handful. Lance was the most hyper drunk Shiro had ever met, and he was friends with Matt Holt. That was saying something. In reality, it wasn’t too hard to see how they’d ended up in a circle playing strip poker.

Wait. Shiro wasn’t sure how they’d ended up in a circle playing strip poker. He knew it had something to do with Lance and a bet and a gallon of food goo, but aside from that, he had no idea why they were playing. Luckily, he was just ‘supervising’.

Pidge, although hammered, had managed to retain her genius and had put on every item of clothing she could find. She was also cheating, Shiro was fairly sure. He could faintly make out a large pile of extra poker chips behind her back. Still, he wasn’t going to complain; he didn’t particularly want a minor to be stripped in an alien spaceship surrounded by a bunch of nineteen year old boys.

Speaking of, Hunk was doing rather well; he’d only lost his headband (the cause of much argument as to whether or not it was an item of clothing) and shoes and socks. Keith wasn’t wearing his pants, showing off a pair of red and white heart boxers, which Lance had laughed uproariously at. Lance...was not doing so good. He was wearing nothing except boxers, socks and Hunk’s headband.

Having that much smooth, tanned skin on display was hard on Shiro’s mind. It was the fourth time this month that Lance had been shirtless in front of him, and Shiro was positive it was having a negative effect.

The top of Lance’s chest was flushed a bright red from the alcohol, and his nipples were hard. His legs went on for miles, covered in soft (at least he assumed it was soft) almost invisible hairs, bleached blond from the sun. Goosebumps covered most of his skin and Shiro had to sympathise - the Castle was unforgivingly cold sometimes. 

“ _ Please _ let me put my hoodie on,” Lance begged, kneeling on the hard floor. 

“Hmm...nope,” Pidge laughed, the sound more of a cackle than a laugh. “You brought this on yourself, Lance.”

“Yes,  _ I know _ , and I’m currently dying of pneumonia so if you wouldn’t mind thawing your stone cold heart just this once, it would be greatly appreciated,” Lance snarked back, throwing his arms in the air, making all the muscles in his back flex. Shiro swallowed and tore his eyes away in time to see Pidge’s amused face looking at him.

Her glasses were glinting in the light and abject terror flooded over him as he realised that  _ she knew _ . 

Pidge knew and that meant only one thing. If Shiro wanted to survive, he’d have to ask Black to transport him back to the astral plain and keep him there forever because Pidge would stop at nothing to do what she wanted.

“No can do Lance,” she replied from where she was sitting on the pile of clothing belonging to the others.

“Pidge~” Lance sang evilly, leaning forwards further. “If you don’t give me back my hoodie  _ right now _ , I’ll tell Keith-”

Pidge paled instantly and thrust the hoodie at Lance, scowling at him.

“ _ You promised never to bring that up again _ ,” she hissed. Shiro wondered what Lance had over her to make her react like that. Lance’s face was the picture of smugness, a smirk playing on his lips and damn that was hot.

Actually, most things about Lance were hot. Even his hands. And yes, Shiro had stooped that low to start fantasizing about his hands.

They were surprisingly strong, though they looked slender and delicate. He had long, thin fingers, but they were as steady as a rock. In all their time in space, not once had Shiro seen Lance’s hands shake, ever. They were also covered in scars. 

Shiro wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he knew Lance had loads of scars. Primarily from the explosion back on Arus, but you didn’t take part in an alien war without expecting to get some sort of injury.

Shiro’s scars were thick and pink and ridged. He didn’t hate them, he didn’t like them, he was indifferent to them. Obviously he’d prefer it if they weren’t there, but hey, you can’t always get what you want. 

Lance’s scars were thin and white and flat against his skin. They showed up starkly against his tan, but were barely visible unless you were really close. The one on his back though...that was another story. 

It was big, covering most of his lower back. There was a weird sheen to it, as though the scar tissue was shiny, and it looked in itself like the explosion. The whole thing, and surrounding skin, was a slightly lighter colour to Lance’s skintone thanks to the burns that had affected his back.

If Shiro didn’t know better, he’d say it looked pretty cool. Of course, it was hard for Shiro to concentrate on the physical pains of his teammates when  _ Lance’s upper back was so goddamn distracting _ .

His shoulders really shouldn’t be allowed to be that broad, Shiro thought to himself as he studied the muscles carefully. It was completely unfair to those around him.

“Shiro? You look kinda constipated dude,” Lance slurred to him, shaking him out of his thoughts. He went bright red and was fairly sure that you could have cooked an egg on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry,” he blurted, turning away hurriedly and hoping that in the future he’d regain some semblance of control over his bodily functions. 


	5. The Bonding Moment Incident

Shiro was the only one awake, as per usual. He walked quietly through the halls, checking all the airlocks, all the vents, all possible escape routes. It was the only thing he could do that would relax just a small bit.

Yeah, that was probably a bad thing, but Shiro’s head was a bit of a shitshow at the moment and there was no way in hell he was going to go through all of that now.

So he walked. 

As he tiptoed past the sleeping quarters, he noticed that Lance’s door was open. Unable to resist, he peeked in and saw...an empty, unmade bed, covers thrown roughly to the floor and missing bayard.

His heart pounded in his chest so fast he thought it might burst out of his ribcage. 

Forgetting all semblance of quiet he sprinted to the hangars. No Lance. The training deck. Empty. The common room. Nada. He even checked the control deck. Nothing. And then it struck him.

He allowed himself a thirty second break, doubled over, hands on knees, gasping like a fish out of water. Then he was up and sprinting again, this time up a wide, majestic staircase and then through this sloping corridor into the observation deck.

Shiro let out a sigh of relief when he saw a tall figure lying flat on the floor in the middle of the room.

“Shiro?”

“Lance…” he said, between large gulps of air. He was definitely not a sprinter. “Saw your bedroom...empty...was worried.”

“Jesus, Shiro, you sound like you’ve run a mile,” Lance commented, sitting up and shooting him an amused look. “Come and sit down.”

Shiro, still feeling like a fish out of water, staggered over to Lance and collapsed next to him, chest heaving.

“More of a long distance runner,” he said, when he finally got his breathing under control. “Been running at full power for about half an hour now.”

Lance winced. 

“Yikes. Sounds rough.” His sympathy wasn’t enough to hide the laughter in his tone and Shiro shot him a wounded look.

“I was  _ worried _ about you!”

At that, Lance burst out laughing, hunching over his slightly bent legs, arms wrapped around his midriff. Shiro allowed himself a proud smile at that - there was something about getting Lance to laugh that was so rewarding. And this time, it wasn’t just him. Hell, he’d even seen a proud smirk on Keith’s face when he managed to make the Blue Paladin laugh.

“Aw, buddy. Want to cradle me in your arms?”

Shiro’s neck felt a bit hot under the collar at that, but, like a blessing in disguise, the flush didn’t travel any further up. 

Fixing Lance with a deadpan look, he opened his arms and tugged Lance straight into his lap.

It was at that precise moment that he realised his predicament. Like some sort of cruel twist of fate, Lance was, once again, missing a piece of clothing instrumental to Shiro’s mental health, and that was, you guessed it, a  _ fucking _ shirt.

Shiro’s arms were wrapped around Lance’s waist and his head had naturally tucked itself into the crook between Lance’s neck and shoulder muscle. Shiro could feel that flush on his face now, and hoped that Lance just thought that he ran naturally hot. Of course, it would be nice if that wasn’t the  _ only _ thing about him that Lance thought was hot, but it would do in a pinch.

Lance’s skin was soft and clean. The battle scars left ridges and divots in his skin, but not to the extent of Shiro’s, which stuck out like mountain ranges from his pale complexion. And at the small of his was that burn scar. In contrast to how it looked, it was actually rough to the touch and the skin was bubbled and calloused. 

“Shiro? You okay?”

He hummed in response and pulled Lance’s back closer to his chest, trying not to think about how his hands were actually touching those abs he’d been fantasizing about for the past month, or about the oddly alluring happy trail right above Lance’s low-slung sweatpants.

Shiro tucked his cold nose into the juncture his chin had previously occupied, causing Lance to yelp and shudder against him. A smell so very...Lance invaded his nostrils, a mixture of sweat, mint and salt. It was an odd combination and there was a hint of something earthy underneath all that, a natural musk that left Shiro reeling.

He was so gone for this boy.


	6. The Reverse Incident

Shiro sighed as he stripped off his shirt and stepped into the shower. After the ‘bonding moment’ on the observation deck, two nights ago, he hadn’t really spoken to Lance.

From what he gathered when they actually started talking instead of cuddling, Lance was simply feeling a bit homesick and had gone up there to clear his head. 

They’d had a pretty deep chat and it had left Shiro feeling emotionally drained. The first thing he did after anything draining was have a shower, so that was where he was. And if he just so happened to be taking it after working out his frustrations on the poor training bot, well, who had to know?

He stood under the spray of the shower, turning up the heat as far as possible. Though Altean and human biology was very similar, they had a much lower core body temperature and what was hot for them was just about lukewarm to him. He chuckled to himself as he imagined taking them to the desert.

Humming to himself softly, he picked up a random shampoo bottle and started massaging his head, letting a familiar scent haze his memory for a second. Mint...and something vaguely herbal. Sniffing again, he remembered what it was. This was the shampoo Lance used.

He blushed as he remembered that moment in particular. He had been anything but subtle when he shoved his nose into Lance’s hair.

Wanting to leave those embarrassing memories  _ in _ the shower, he finished off quickly and stepped out of the cubicle, a towel wrapped around his hips.

There was Lance, for once fully clothed, standing by the sink, toothbrush in mouth. Shiro smiled at him and Lance grinned around the toothbrush, raising an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Is it just me, or is it hot in here?” Lance asked, winking at him. Shiro went bright red as Lance’s eyes travelled slowly over his chest and stomach.

“I, uh...well,” Shiro stammered, crossing his arms over his chest, unaware that it simply made his impressive biceps bulge and his chest look even broader. What he was aware of was that the toothbrush was suddenly gone and Lance was licking his lips unconsciously.

Shiro’s eyes followed the tongue as it darted out of his mouth and gulped when said mouth curved into a smirk. His eyes flicked up to Lance’s impossibly blue ones and found him a lot closer than before.

“You know,” Lance breathed. “You  _ really _ should have said something.”

“I...don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shiro feigned, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, torn between taking a step back and running away or closing the distance between them.

Confusion and self-doubt crossed Lance’s face before it was wiped away with a look of fond exasperation and amusement.

“Dude. You’ve been checking me out for the past month. I’m not blind,” he said, rolling his eyes and looking back at Shiro with that same fond look in his eyes.

“W-what?” he exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender. 

“Clearly this isn’t working,” Lance sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, Shiro, I try everything and it doesn’t seem to work? Flirting, pick-up lines, I even resorted to being half-naked at every opportunity just in case you were around! You are so  _ dense _ !”

Shiro was trying to understand what was happening, but something in his brain wasn’t working because it was just a lot of white noise.

And then Lance’s voice broke through it.

“Obviously there is only one way to do this. Shiro. I have a massive, gross, gay, totally annoying crush on you.”

Oh. Okay then.

Shiro’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish. Honestly, he was thinking he should just make a full transition to the aquatic animal because he was really pulling off this whole unblinking, bug-eyed thing.

“I, er...what?”

Lance once again rolled his eyes, grabbed the side of Shiro’s towel (causing him to panic slightly and clutch it tighter with his metal arm) and pulled him close. Shiro’s wet feet slipped on the floor and he stumbled. Lance ended up flush against the wall, Shiro’s leg between his and the metal arm now pressing against the wall to the right of Lance’s head.

That flush was back, in full force.

Lance grinned and chuckled quietly and Shiro could feel the faint puff of minty breath on his lips. Wide-eyed (still) and mouth (still) open, he watched silently as Lance leaned forward.

And finally ( _ finally _ ), he was kissing ( _ kissing! _ ) Lance. 

Lance’s lips were wet and he tasted almost obnoxiously of mint, but it was obvious that he was not inexperienced. Unlike Shiro, who had probably kissed about one other person in his life, and yes it was his mother.

Fuck. This was his first kiss.

Lance’s mouth was moving against his, and almost unconsciously he was responding. When Lance bit lightly on his lower lip, he let out an involuntary moan and that let a tongue into his mouth. Albeit slightly disgusted, Shiro went with it and then realised why so many people talked about ‘tongue’. It was incredible, the things Lance could do with that muscle. For a first kiss, this was definitely the best.

Lance broke away and smiled smugly at the bright red mess that was Shiro. Shiro felt like his knees had buckled and the only thing holding him up was his arm, holding the majority of his weight.

“Shiro.”

“Yeah?” Shiro croaked, trying not to look at the mouth that, not even a minute ago, had been fixed on his.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while. So please don’t say anything until I’m done.”

Lance gently moved Shiro around so that it was him with his back against the wall. (It dawned on him then that he’d just had his first kiss in the middle of a public toilet...on an alien castleship.)

And then his heart stopped because Lance was getting down on one knee. (In the middle of a public toilet).

“Takashi Shirogane,” Lance began solemnly. Shiro didn’t know what was happening but it looked romantic and he was always weak to proposals. “You’re hot as shit, I’ve been wanting to bone you forever, be my boyfriend?”

Shiro blinked.

There was a brief silence before Lance burst into laughter and Shiro scowled at him.

“I was expecting something a little more loving,” Shiro grumbled, fixing him with a playful frown. “But out of pure pity, I accept.”

That made Lance choke on his spit and deteriorate into a coughing fit, collapsing onto all fours.

“No, no, no! Wait! Don’t accept yet!” he said desperately, when he finally had control of his voice. “That wasn’t the real thing!”

Shiro looked at him with an exaggerated deadpan expression before waving his hand regally as if allowing him permission to beg for his hand in...well. Boyfriend-hood.

“Shiro. I...shit. I...Well. Nope, this isn’t going to work.”

To Shiro’s amusement (and slight disappointment), Lance got back to his feet and stood awkwardly in front of him. 

“Listen. I’ve been majorly crushing on you for a long time. It’s pathetic trust me, and I swear I’m not a stalker, but...dude. Have you seen you? Because I have, and seriously, it’s a gift from God.  _ You’re _ a gift from God. You’re kind and brave and strong and determined but also funny and idiotic and the  _ biggest dork _ and you blush so easily it makes me spontaneously combust. I really  _ really _ want to show you how much I like you, so...would you do me the honour of becoming my boyfriend?”

Now  _ that _ was more like it.

Shiro grinned and grabbed Lance’s collar, pulling him into a bone crushing hug before kissing him on the mouth again. Being less experienced than Lance, there was an awkward nose bump, but they got past that pretty quickly.

When he pulled away, he caught a glimpse of Lance’s flushed face and smiled smugly.

“So, was it me you were referring to when I heard a certain conversation about Captain McBeefBody?” 

“Oh, shut the hell up. At least I actually took the opportunity unlike a certain pining idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go. It's short, I've realised, and I thought it was a lot longer what with how much time I've spent on it. Editing is a bitch, mes amigos.
> 
> Anyway, you can expect me to post again (sometime, I don't know when), and rest assured it won't be like this. I prefer some good old-fashioned angst, especially when said angst ends in death (cue evil laughter).
> 
> Thank you for reading, sorry that the chapters were so short, if you want me to add anything, just stick a comment in and I will (maybe) consider it. Sometimes I'm a dick (sorry not sorry).
> 
> Hasta la later  
> ~Marshy


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